I need hate you but I feel love

Chapter six



A few hours later Horatio came from the guest room when he had some decent sleep. As usual he could sleep only a couple of hours. The reason of his sleepless was Marisol. He was hunted by thoughts about her. He was again dreaming about ambulance and way to the hospital. He couldn´t believe that she was dead. He could feel her body spooned by his when he was sleeping. He could smell her unique scent but when he woke up he knew she isn´t here and never will be again. He could have his family, little Ray and Yelina back, but he was lost in the world without Marisol. She was his light in this dangerous world.
The house was quite so he know that Catherine is in the land of her dreams yet. He went to take out tour around the ground floor. He found quickly kitchen where he came to decision prepared some coffee for time when Catherine will be awake. He knows that he needs coffee too because he had so little of sleep. He went to the kitchen table and sat down. He was looking around himself and he was suddenly so glad that she invited him to spend his visit in Las Vegas on her´s place. Her place felt so homely and it was very familiar to his place where he is living in Miami. He thought about everything and anything for long time that he didn´t noted when someone else came into house. He was so lost in the thoughts he even didn´t hear how school bus stopped before the house. He suddenly felt that someone was staring at him. He turned around and the person, who he saw, was young girl who was talking to his direction. He immediately knows that the girl can be only Catherine´s daughter, Lindsey. She looked so much like as her mother.

“Hey, so you can hear me,” Lindsey said him.
“Oh, of course, I can hear you. I´m sorry but I was lost in the thoughts,” he apologized.
“Could I ask who are you and what are you doing in ‘my’ house?” she asked him.
“ I apologized once again. When I left my manners,” he told her and stood from the chair by the kitchen table and approached to her. “ My name is Horatio Caine, Lindsey, and I’m your mother’s friend and she invited me stand here ….,” he tried clear up to her when she jumped into his speech.
“You think friend as a boyfriend, don’ t you? You couldn’t know my name otherwise,” Linds told him sharply.
“No, I’m not ´boyfriend of your mother. When I said friend I mean only friend. The reason why I know your name is that your mother herself told me it and with it a lot of things about you when we worked together on the case in Miami sometime ago.”
“What? How do you mean it?” she asked him confusedly.
“You can remember that your mother was sent to Miami several years ago, can’t you? She had some investigation there, “ he told her and waited for the answer.
“Yeah, I know this,” she replied and nodded by her head that she’ s waiting for him to continue.
“She was there cause the case was pretty complicated. I’m CSI investigator like as your mother, too,” he told her the rest of the story how he met her mother.
“Oh, this Horatio Caine,” she slapped her forehead with frustration,” mom told me about you. I must admit that I somehow forget it and now you must think that I am only some silly girl,” she said nervously.
“No, I don’t think it. I know very well that you can remember everything what you somewhen heard or read. I am admitting that I can forgot everything when it’ s came to my person. I know you’re clever girl as your mother said me,” he said her with serious voice and kind smile in his face.

Lindsey was prepared to ask something more about time when Horatio and her mother met. She thought about questions which were on her mind but meanwhile she was in the world of the minds, her mother came to the kitchen.
She watched her daughter with Horatio during their talk. When she saw that they paused in the talk for a while she saw her chance to surprised them. She also saw that both have turned their backs to her and so she said.
“Hey, you two what are you doing here? Have I reason to start to worry about something?”
“No,” they both shouted immediately when they heard her.
“Mom, why do you think that you need to be anxious about something?” Linds asked with surprise in her voice.
“Cause I know you very well Linds and I know when is something up.” she told her with playful glare. “ And also I know Horatio is a slyboots when it´s come to the fun.”
She glared at them when they looked at each other and shrugged by theirs shoulders how they didn´t know what they can think about it.
“So, what´s up? Horatio, Lindsey, I am talking to you and I am waiting for your answers,” he came with her best interrogation sound of the voice.
“Catherine, please, be calm. I can affirm you that nothing´s is up,” he said her calmly. “ You know you can believe me, don´t you?”
“Of course I know it Horatio and there is all problem cause I know what you can do it pretty well…” she started her speech when she was interrupted by Lindsey.
“Mr. Caine, could I ask you something?”
“Lindsey Willows,” was heard to shout in the room.
“Of course,” Horatio answered and ignored Catherine´s deathful glare.
“Could I call you Uncle Horatio?” she asked innocently.
“Lindsey Marie Willows,” loudly shouting reached their ears.
“ Of course, Linds, if I can call you that. I would be honored if you will me call Uncle Horatio or Uncle H. You can pick what you will like more, “ he said.
“I prefer Uncle H. It´s sooooo cool.” she yelled joyfully and threw her on Horatio so she could hug him.
“Lindsey Marie Willows, what do you think about yourself? You behavior is uncalled. I think that you and I will need to have a TALK.” Catherine yelled at her.
Horatio could see how Linds was suddenly sad and he came to decision that it´s time to join the conversation.
“Catherine, please, calm down. It´s ok. Lindsey and I have some talk. She’s great girl and very well raised. It´s honor that she would like to have someone so old as I am as her uncle,” he explained her.
“Ok.”
“Lindsey, I am sorry I jumped in the conclusion that there was something wrong,” she told her daughter weakly.
Lindsey watched her with half closed eyes and thought about her reaction on her mother outburst. It was very unusual for her lately so she decided that it all will come to the oblivion.
“Nothing happened, mom,” she told her graciously.
Catherine was looking at her daughter with unbelieving look. She was so much out of her usual condition she decided that it’s better if it all will end this way.
“So guys, what we have for lunch?” she asked with glint in her eyes.

The rest of afternoon was amazing. When they all shared lunch together they had so lively talk. It was something what Catherine missed for long time. She could saw her baby happy. It was so long time when she was happy in her presence. It was so similar to the times before Eddie’s death and before she and Gil put so much distance between each other.
They had fun even when it came to wash dishes. She must to think that Horatio was god sender for her small family. He made fun from every small move or work although he had smile on his face permanently. Yeah, he was smiling but it was a bit fake smile.

“Hey Catherine, what happen?” she heard how Horatio called her.
“Nothing, I was just think…” she tried explain when Linds jumped into her talk and said the end of her sentence.
“I was just thinking about work.”
“Mom, come, you need to have some fun and you can´t think about work every evening before your departure to the lab.” she said with pleading look.
“OK, guys. So what’ your plan for the evening?”
“We will have a movie evening,” Linds tried persuade Cath and Horatio.
“Hey, Lindsey, what do you think that we will get some movie later after we gave your mother ride to the work or would you like to give me test?” he asked her. “What do you think? Can I pick some good movie which you will like too?:
“Hmm,” she thought loudly, “I think that I will give you chance but if you will fall you will make a dish all week. Deal, Uncle H?”
“Lindsey,” was heard from shock Catherine.
“Catherine, it`s OK.” He said her.
“It`s a deal. I guess that I forgot mention one thing. I have got a nephew in your age so I am capable find quite good movie,” he told her with big grin on his face.
Lindsey groaned loudly cause she know already that she will lost this bet.
The rest of their common time they spent in the living room where they played card games. The atmosphere in the house was more and more better. All occupants of a house were in better mood than they were sometime ago. All could laugh healthy and they didn´t need anything pretend. They were normal happy. Catherine was now and again lost in her memories which she faced. She compared past and today. She could so similar things and characteristics in Horatio and Gil. She felt how past came back and everything was alright, and she could be in the presence of a man she loved all her life. She didn´t know that Horatio caught her odd expression which was showed on her face.



After amazing time with Lindsey Catherine was prepared to face up everything which could this shift bring. She know somehow that Horatio was the one who can go through her thick wall around her. She sensed subconsciously that he would like to talk about something. When he drove her in the work he started talk after sometime of silence in the car.
“Cath, could I ask you something?”
“Sure Horatio. What would you like to know?” she told him.
“Where is the woman who I met in Miami several years ago? When and where did she go off?” he asked silently.
“I am here. I am same Catherine who you met, Horatio. I didn’t go anywhere,” she tried tell him obvious lie.
“No, you aren’t that women. You said me you always take care about yourself but in some spot you lost your way. What had happened to your guy with great smell?”
“Horatio, please, believe me I am same person as I was several years ago. I admit I had some hard bump on my way of life but it doesn’t stop me and I am still here.”
“Catherine, I know pretty well that you are lying me now. You can act before your daughter for a small time and for your co-works but not before me. I am also one who is acting too like as everything was alright even it isn´t true. Cath, you can trust me. I am not here but I could hurt you. I am here for you.”
He kept glance by one of his eyes on her and he suddenly saw her without the mask. He could see woman who was terrible hurt and she´s hurting day by day something or someone.
“Who hurt you so much? Was it Gil Grissom? He was a guy who helped us with the case, wasn´t he? He is the one with great sense of smell. What he did you? You were eager about your way home,” he was telling her why he was driving.
He shut up when he saw that the answers will need to time. He knew that he pushed her a little over her emotion’s edge but it was necessary.
“It isn´t what he did but what he didn´t. He hurt me cause he started a relationship with somebody else. With somebody I dislike with every fiber of my being. He knows for long time I love him from the first moment when we met. He had not have a patient to wait for me so we started to drift apart during the last three years and six months. We had some good moments but after that came back our ‘old new’ situation. His last action hurt me in my worst vulnerable place, in my heart,” she told him when she glanced from the car window.
“So, you gave up. You moved off Grissom and you are closing that chapter´. Please, correct me if it isn’t true,” Horatio´s analyzing loudly her story when he was interrupted by Cath.
“No, I don´t give up. I only need some time to find the strength for my fight,” she said very firmly.
“Good, Cath, you will need it just now. We are before the headquarters now and it’ s in same time as Mr.Grissom and his girlfriend who-knows-her-name. Take a deep breath and go to your way.”
After his words he hugged her and she hugged him back. She was more relaxed than she was in a few last months. She broke their embrace after a while. She give him a peck on his cheek and said him her thank you with that action.
What they didn´t know, was that they were watched by Grissom and Sara. Each of them had different thoughts when they saw picture before theirs sight. Grissom was boiling with never-ending jealous. Sara was calm on the other side cause she had feeling that nothing can´t come between her and her trophy man.