New chapter: I need hate you but I feel love

New chapter of that story will be available in this Friday or Saturday. Meanwhile, you would can find a new story here.

It will be crossover between CSI:Crime Scene Investigation and CSI:Miami. This story is based on the episode Weeping Willows and a bit of Cross Jurisdiction. The main characters will be Catherine Willows and Horatio Caine.

I hope you will like it and write me some feedback where you will tell me what you think about my stories.

See you soon!

I need hate you but I feel love

Chapter six



A few hours later Horatio came from the guest room when he had some decent sleep. As usual he could sleep only a couple of hours. The reason of his sleepless was Marisol. He was hunted by thoughts about her. He was again dreaming about ambulance and way to the hospital. He couldn´t believe that she was dead. He could feel her body spooned by his when he was sleeping. He could smell her unique scent but when he woke up he knew she isn´t here and never will be again. He could have his family, little Ray and Yelina back, but he was lost in the world without Marisol. She was his light in this dangerous world.
The house was quite so he know that Catherine is in the land of her dreams yet. He went to take out tour around the ground floor. He found quickly kitchen where he came to decision prepared some coffee for time when Catherine will be awake. He knows that he needs coffee too because he had so little of sleep. He went to the kitchen table and sat down. He was looking around himself and he was suddenly so glad that she invited him to spend his visit in Las Vegas on her´s place. Her place felt so homely and it was very familiar to his place where he is living in Miami. He thought about everything and anything for long time that he didn´t noted when someone else came into house. He was so lost in the thoughts he even didn´t hear how school bus stopped before the house. He suddenly felt that someone was staring at him. He turned around and the person, who he saw, was young girl who was talking to his direction. He immediately knows that the girl can be only Catherine´s daughter, Lindsey. She looked so much like as her mother.

“Hey, so you can hear me,” Lindsey said him.
“Oh, of course, I can hear you. I´m sorry but I was lost in the thoughts,” he apologized.
“Could I ask who are you and what are you doing in ‘my’ house?” she asked him.
“ I apologized once again. When I left my manners,” he told her and stood from the chair by the kitchen table and approached to her. “ My name is Horatio Caine, Lindsey, and I’m your mother’s friend and she invited me stand here ….,” he tried clear up to her when she jumped into his speech.
“You think friend as a boyfriend, don’ t you? You couldn’t know my name otherwise,” Linds told him sharply.
“No, I’m not ´boyfriend of your mother. When I said friend I mean only friend. The reason why I know your name is that your mother herself told me it and with it a lot of things about you when we worked together on the case in Miami sometime ago.”
“What? How do you mean it?” she asked him confusedly.
“You can remember that your mother was sent to Miami several years ago, can’t you? She had some investigation there, “ he told her and waited for the answer.
“Yeah, I know this,” she replied and nodded by her head that she’ s waiting for him to continue.
“She was there cause the case was pretty complicated. I’m CSI investigator like as your mother, too,” he told her the rest of the story how he met her mother.
“Oh, this Horatio Caine,” she slapped her forehead with frustration,” mom told me about you. I must admit that I somehow forget it and now you must think that I am only some silly girl,” she said nervously.
“No, I don’t think it. I know very well that you can remember everything what you somewhen heard or read. I am admitting that I can forgot everything when it’ s came to my person. I know you’re clever girl as your mother said me,” he said her with serious voice and kind smile in his face.

Lindsey was prepared to ask something more about time when Horatio and her mother met. She thought about questions which were on her mind but meanwhile she was in the world of the minds, her mother came to the kitchen.
She watched her daughter with Horatio during their talk. When she saw that they paused in the talk for a while she saw her chance to surprised them. She also saw that both have turned their backs to her and so she said.
“Hey, you two what are you doing here? Have I reason to start to worry about something?”
“No,” they both shouted immediately when they heard her.
“Mom, why do you think that you need to be anxious about something?” Linds asked with surprise in her voice.
“Cause I know you very well Linds and I know when is something up.” she told her with playful glare. “ And also I know Horatio is a slyboots when it´s come to the fun.”
She glared at them when they looked at each other and shrugged by theirs shoulders how they didn´t know what they can think about it.
“So, what´s up? Horatio, Lindsey, I am talking to you and I am waiting for your answers,” he came with her best interrogation sound of the voice.
“Catherine, please, be calm. I can affirm you that nothing´s is up,” he said her calmly. “ You know you can believe me, don´t you?”
“Of course I know it Horatio and there is all problem cause I know what you can do it pretty well…” she started her speech when she was interrupted by Lindsey.
“Mr. Caine, could I ask you something?”
“Lindsey Willows,” was heard to shout in the room.
“Of course,” Horatio answered and ignored Catherine´s deathful glare.
“Could I call you Uncle Horatio?” she asked innocently.
“Lindsey Marie Willows,” loudly shouting reached their ears.
“ Of course, Linds, if I can call you that. I would be honored if you will me call Uncle Horatio or Uncle H. You can pick what you will like more, “ he said.
“I prefer Uncle H. It´s sooooo cool.” she yelled joyfully and threw her on Horatio so she could hug him.
“Lindsey Marie Willows, what do you think about yourself? You behavior is uncalled. I think that you and I will need to have a TALK.” Catherine yelled at her.
Horatio could see how Linds was suddenly sad and he came to decision that it´s time to join the conversation.
“Catherine, please, calm down. It´s ok. Lindsey and I have some talk. She’s great girl and very well raised. It´s honor that she would like to have someone so old as I am as her uncle,” he explained her.
“Ok.”
“Lindsey, I am sorry I jumped in the conclusion that there was something wrong,” she told her daughter weakly.
Lindsey watched her with half closed eyes and thought about her reaction on her mother outburst. It was very unusual for her lately so she decided that it all will come to the oblivion.
“Nothing happened, mom,” she told her graciously.
Catherine was looking at her daughter with unbelieving look. She was so much out of her usual condition she decided that it’s better if it all will end this way.
“So guys, what we have for lunch?” she asked with glint in her eyes.

The rest of afternoon was amazing. When they all shared lunch together they had so lively talk. It was something what Catherine missed for long time. She could saw her baby happy. It was so long time when she was happy in her presence. It was so similar to the times before Eddie’s death and before she and Gil put so much distance between each other.
They had fun even when it came to wash dishes. She must to think that Horatio was god sender for her small family. He made fun from every small move or work although he had smile on his face permanently. Yeah, he was smiling but it was a bit fake smile.

“Hey Catherine, what happen?” she heard how Horatio called her.
“Nothing, I was just think…” she tried explain when Linds jumped into her talk and said the end of her sentence.
“I was just thinking about work.”
“Mom, come, you need to have some fun and you can´t think about work every evening before your departure to the lab.” she said with pleading look.
“OK, guys. So what’ your plan for the evening?”
“We will have a movie evening,” Linds tried persuade Cath and Horatio.
“Hey, Lindsey, what do you think that we will get some movie later after we gave your mother ride to the work or would you like to give me test?” he asked her. “What do you think? Can I pick some good movie which you will like too?:
“Hmm,” she thought loudly, “I think that I will give you chance but if you will fall you will make a dish all week. Deal, Uncle H?”
“Lindsey,” was heard from shock Catherine.
“Catherine, it`s OK.” He said her.
“It`s a deal. I guess that I forgot mention one thing. I have got a nephew in your age so I am capable find quite good movie,” he told her with big grin on his face.
Lindsey groaned loudly cause she know already that she will lost this bet.
The rest of their common time they spent in the living room where they played card games. The atmosphere in the house was more and more better. All occupants of a house were in better mood than they were sometime ago. All could laugh healthy and they didn´t need anything pretend. They were normal happy. Catherine was now and again lost in her memories which she faced. She compared past and today. She could so similar things and characteristics in Horatio and Gil. She felt how past came back and everything was alright, and she could be in the presence of a man she loved all her life. She didn´t know that Horatio caught her odd expression which was showed on her face.



After amazing time with Lindsey Catherine was prepared to face up everything which could this shift bring. She know somehow that Horatio was the one who can go through her thick wall around her. She sensed subconsciously that he would like to talk about something. When he drove her in the work he started talk after sometime of silence in the car.
“Cath, could I ask you something?”
“Sure Horatio. What would you like to know?” she told him.
“Where is the woman who I met in Miami several years ago? When and where did she go off?” he asked silently.
“I am here. I am same Catherine who you met, Horatio. I didn’t go anywhere,” she tried tell him obvious lie.
“No, you aren’t that women. You said me you always take care about yourself but in some spot you lost your way. What had happened to your guy with great smell?”
“Horatio, please, believe me I am same person as I was several years ago. I admit I had some hard bump on my way of life but it doesn’t stop me and I am still here.”
“Catherine, I know pretty well that you are lying me now. You can act before your daughter for a small time and for your co-works but not before me. I am also one who is acting too like as everything was alright even it isn´t true. Cath, you can trust me. I am not here but I could hurt you. I am here for you.”
He kept glance by one of his eyes on her and he suddenly saw her without the mask. He could see woman who was terrible hurt and she´s hurting day by day something or someone.
“Who hurt you so much? Was it Gil Grissom? He was a guy who helped us with the case, wasn´t he? He is the one with great sense of smell. What he did you? You were eager about your way home,” he was telling her why he was driving.
He shut up when he saw that the answers will need to time. He knew that he pushed her a little over her emotion’s edge but it was necessary.
“It isn´t what he did but what he didn´t. He hurt me cause he started a relationship with somebody else. With somebody I dislike with every fiber of my being. He knows for long time I love him from the first moment when we met. He had not have a patient to wait for me so we started to drift apart during the last three years and six months. We had some good moments but after that came back our ‘old new’ situation. His last action hurt me in my worst vulnerable place, in my heart,” she told him when she glanced from the car window.
“So, you gave up. You moved off Grissom and you are closing that chapter´. Please, correct me if it isn’t true,” Horatio´s analyzing loudly her story when he was interrupted by Cath.
“No, I don´t give up. I only need some time to find the strength for my fight,” she said very firmly.
“Good, Cath, you will need it just now. We are before the headquarters now and it’ s in same time as Mr.Grissom and his girlfriend who-knows-her-name. Take a deep breath and go to your way.”
After his words he hugged her and she hugged him back. She was more relaxed than she was in a few last months. She broke their embrace after a while. She give him a peck on his cheek and said him her thank you with that action.
What they didn´t know, was that they were watched by Grissom and Sara. Each of them had different thoughts when they saw picture before theirs sight. Grissom was boiling with never-ending jealous. Sara was calm on the other side cause she had feeling that nothing can´t come between her and her trophy man.

I need hate you but I feel love

Chapter five

"Hi,Mugs," greeted her again Sam.
"I said you don´t never CALL ME MUGS," answered with higher voice Catherine.
"Don´t be so prude, Mugs. I think that I have right call you that when you came to visit me. Don´t you think?" told her Sam.
"What? Are you crazy?" yelled Cath on him. "How can you think that I came visit you only from my presence on this place? No, mister, you made a wrong impression cause I came with friend?"
"You think your best friend Gil Grissom? I thought that I heard that he is with someone else, your younger colleague. Isn´t it right Catherine?" he spoke slowly.
Catherine knew very well that her biological father hate Grissom but that he will be so cruel to her. No, she need to tell herself on right way. She know and know very well how he can be in his relationships with people around him, especially with his family and friends. When she thought that she will start yell to him suddenly they both heard someone´s voice which came into their debate.
"Catherine, it´s all OK. Do you need some help with this men?" asked Horatio who came from reception where he was checking out.
Catherine turned to him and told him:
"Horatio, thanks but it´s Ok. I am done here so we can go to my place now." With this words she walked away from Sam without another glance on him. Horatio stayed a few moments behind her. He looks into the eyes of man who had heated argument with Cath. He needed know who is the man and why he was so mean to her. All he could see was man with hate which went though all his life. After that he turned away too and hurried to Catherine´s car where she´s already waiting for him.

She was sitting in the passenger seat already when he gave his baggies into the back of car. He could saw that she wasn´t only tired but she had some different sadness in her face. He could match with the face which he saw when she was speaking about Grissom. He saw so much negative emotions in her.
He went quickly into car and pull up into the way to Catherine´s place. She told him before how he could drive there in case, she asleep during the way home.
She was more and more quite. If he didn´t glance at her he would think that she´d dozen off. However, he could see her quietly watch the street´s and their´s life.
He came to decision and asked her about man in the hotel´s hall.
"Catherine," he spoke with calm voice on her. When he hadn´t have answer from her. He spoke on her one more time again.
"Catherine."
"What? Horatio, it´s something wrong," she asked him with voice where you could find hint of stress.
"Catherine, who was the man in the hotel? The one who argued with you."
"My father," answered him simply.
"Your father?" repeated after her.
"Yes, but it´s long story and I think that we had a deal about reason why you can be in Rampart during the vacation. He´s the reason. I know that you would like to find more about it. I promise that I will say you all but not today." she said him.
"It´s OK, Cath. I can wait cause I am patient man or I used to be one of them. You can give all time you need and when you will think you are ready I will be there to listen you," he told her gently.
"Thank you, Horatio. I am glad you showed up there, " she told him.
She turned back to watch the streets from windows of her car. When she saw familiar neighborhood she said Horatio where he must turn on the road. They were in few minutes before her place. Catherine was more and more tired. It wasn´t only from the shift however it was also from argument with Sam. It was horrible situation. She thought that she is living in the nightmare. She was so lost for a while that Horatio must tapped her on her shoulder. She was surprised she had someone in car with her. It was all like as she forgot a man who was beside her.
He saw it and only said several small words which was so nice for her.
"Catherine, we are home. It´s time for you to get to bed and have some time of sleeping.“
"Ok. Thank you for your help, Horatio. I appreciated it. But you must gave me your word you would have some sleeping too.“
"K. I will have it but you will get to bed first. I am sure when you said me where is your guest room that I will found it himself. Everything other will be there so we´ll can to decided when you´ll wake up in the afternoon.“

"Thank you Horatio, thank you for all you did for me today morning. We will talk later. Good night and have a good sleep,” she said him.
“You too, Catherine, you too,” he told her when she walked upstairs to have some decent sleep.

I need hate you but I feel love

Chapter four




It was long shift and one of the most tiresome which she ever had. Situation in team was serious. The tension was worse and worse day by day. Cath was very tired from this situation, Ecklie´s questions and demands on all lab. She loved her work but she felt sometimes that work she had in French palace was at least relaxing when it came to human energy. It was also one of the day when she wished that she had someone in her life. Of course except Lindsey and her mother. Someone who would be waiting for her before lab and drove her home where she would have prepare breakfast and bed.

She concluded case which she worked with Rick and handed over finished paperwork to Grissom. She went to the locker room straight from his office. She worked as robot. Unlocked locker, grab her purse and jacket, lock it again and went to a parking lot. She was so much wrapped up herself that she didn´t catch sight of Sara in the locker room who watched her with strange look in her face.


When Cath came before headquarters and went to her parking space where she was facing surprise. Surprise which had name, Horatio. He stood leant about the side of her car and waited there for her. She was surprised that he was capable remember her Tahoe yesterday evening. But she must remind herself that he´s man who was trained as member of bomb squad and there was explanation his skills on the crime scene and anywhere else.
Cath´s face was suddenly lit up with smile and almost all her tiredness was forgot.
"So, Horatio, to what do I owe for two visit during...," Cath peeked on the watch, "during ten hours?"
"I figured that you will be tired after the long shift and though case and you would like to make a safe way to home," answered her man who was freshly clothed in deep charcoal gray silk suit and navy blue shirt.
"So I got up early and grabbed cab to this way and so here I am," answered her sincerely.
"Horatio, you´are my saver. I am so tired that I am slowly blind. You aren´t saver, you´re knight in shining armor. What I did so good that you came into my way today morning?" Cath whispered with more and more wearily voice.
Horatio didn´t answer to her question. He only stayed here and observed her with beam on his face. He shrugged his shoulders and after the moment he added:
"You need help and coincidentally I am in city. So I am here. It´s so plain."
"You´re great man. You know it, don´t you?" said with grin and gave him friendly hug. He hugged her gently back.
Exactly in this moment, Grissom and Sara went outside the headquarters. They saw several last moments’ interaction between Cath and stranger who was with her in parking lot. They both were petrified with the look, which they saw. Sara was the first of them who recovered from the picture before her. Grissom had a blank face longer that he would like to show.
The hug wasn’t long and so they could see who is the men with Cath. It was not nobody else than her visitor from the last night, Lt. Caine. Sara saw the look on Grissom´s face. Although he was mister when it came to the emotions and their display in presence others people. This time it was different. If you would like to read his face, you could see jealous, anger, disgust and something unidentifiable in one look. Something, which looked almost as regret. Sara very well read his expressions and was hurt with his wordless action but she was determined that she will be patient with him. She knew that his friendship with Catherine was something he was valued and he lost. So she decided to fierce step in this situation.
"They´re lovely couple, honey. Don´t you think it same thing?" she asked him.
"Of course, you have true," answered coldly and went ahead Sara to get his car from parking lot so they could go to home soon. He let Sara wait for him before the headquarters.
When Cath and Horatio slipped from their hug and turned to Catherine´s car. She gave him the keys without word from her purse. He accepted it and led her to the passenger side, which he open as first and helped her settle in car. He closed the door and went to driver´s side. When he was settle too, they drove out of the parking lot in silence between them. They sat in the car for a few minutes when Catherine turned her attention to Horatio.
"So, when you will move to me, Horatio?" asked him.
"Catherine, I guess that this conversation can wait when you will be after good sleep and it´ll be later."
"No, mister, you will not squirm from it now. I think that the best solution will be we will stop in Rampart and you‘ll check out. It‘s only several minutes beyond our schedule."
"Catherine, just now you need go to bed and sleep," said Horatio.
"No, we‘ll do it so how I want it. Yeah, you can drive my car now but you can be also sure that you‘ll be in troubles after than. I am pig headed and I always win every argument which I had," she told him. "Even arguments with Grissom," whispered for herself but H heard it and was so wise that he didn‘t comment it. He shot her with surprised glance which she didn‘t see cause she was lost in thoughts from past. Thoughts, which was so painful. She came back into past.
Horatio saw that any arguments would be not good so he was driving way to his hotel where he could take his bags. He had an opportunity watch Catherine during the short time in car. What he saw was so much unusual for Catherine Willows who he met, he saw sad woman. He couldn‘t find the strong woman who he met in Miami. They were soon in Rampart and they went to prepared things for Horatio´s arrive to Cath´s house.

While Horatio went to his room for his bags and check out, Catherine stayed in reception hall of Rampart and watched people around her whom went out or in casino. She slowly walked around room when she ran into someone. She wanted apologize when she heard the voice, which called her. She thought that she would never more talk with this man. She was in stupor.
"Hi, Mugs," greeted her Sam.
"Don´t never call me again Mugs," whispered with cold voice Cath.

I need hate you but I feel love

Chapter three


They walked through the lab towards break room where was the meeting held. During they walk Horatio was silent and watched life in the lab with intensive concentration. The people from lab saw some stranger who walked with Catherine Willows and they are starting speculate who is the man and why is here, especially accompanied by Catherine. As we know rumor was soon spilled through lab. It was so quick that even Greg knew it before Cath reached the break room.
"Hey guys, do you know what´s new?" yelled Greg when he ran into the break room.
"No, gossip guy, we don´t know." Nick answered him.
" Huh, Cath," he tried catch his breath," has got some MALE visitor and they´re coming here."
"Yeah, Greg, you have true," said Cath who suddenly reappeared behind him. Greg twitched himself when he heard her voice.
"I have a male visitor and not some MALE visitor as you said but one special," she said with sign of chuckle in her voice. Behind her was hearing slight laughter.

After this speech the rest of team turned their focus to man behind her. All have question " who is he?" write-in their faces. All have blank face cause they couldn´t place him. Suddenly one of the guys knew who he is.
"Horatio Caine, isn´t it true?" Warrick said and went to him so that he can said him hello.
"Hello,Mr.Brown. Yeah, It´s me. I am glad I can see that you´re alright," said Horatio.
"So, what brought you to Las Vegas? I hope that it isn´t work," Rick asked.
"No, I had only some days off and I must pick them out. So I came to Las Vegas where I can visit one lovely CSI who lives there," said with laugh.
Cath slapped playfully his arm and all three begun laughing together.
"Thanks for your compliment, Horatio, but I think that you must be introduce to the rest of team.
"Guys," said Cath," so this is Horatio Caine, supervisior of Miami-Dade CSI lab and he is also man who worked with us in case when we had the chief´s of private police murder."
"Horatio, this is Sara Sidle, Nick Stokes, Greg Sanders and ours supervisor Gil Grissom," she said him. When she saw question ih his eyes, she added:
"Yeah, he´s the guy with sensitive nose who recognized the almond aroma of our murder."
Grissom observed all situation with frown face. You can said that what he saw, he doesn´t like it. He needed do something. So he decided that he stopped it just now.
"Guys, sorry, but I must break yoour 'fun' cause we have some work," said to the rest of team who all talked with Horatio now.
The murmur died down after his words and they wait for his speech about assignments. Horatio was suddenly one who observed situation between people of the team. What he saw was very odd. When he look at Grissom he saw jealous man but on other side there was Sara Sidle who had very pissed face. It was really strange but he had feelings that it´s somehow related to his presence not only in Las Vegas but also in this lab in this moment.
Meanwhile, Grissom gave assignments to his team.
"Sara, you´re with Nick and you have got db at Strip boulverd. Sophia is already in place and she waits to you."
"Warrick, you? Cath and Greg have got 427 with murder of one of the victims. Brass is waiting for you."
"And I´ve got paperwork. So, guys, go to work." He exited from room.

He wasn´t so far when the team exited room. He could hear their talk with Horatio. So, of course, he overheard the question which Warrick gave Horatio Caine.
"So Horatio, where are you staying during the visit in Las Vegas?"
"I am check in Rampart. i would be happy when you will come to visit me and we can go out in some club," answered without hesitation Horation.
"Uh, uh,...I think that it isn´t the best idea Horatio," said Catherine. "Rampart isn´t the best place for staying during vacation. What would you said to my offer that you will have guest room in my place but it has one catch. You must have a lot of patience for suffer with one teen - age. What do you think?" she added.
"Catherine, It´s great offer but you´re sure that I won´t bothering you.I can´t stay in the hotel.It doesn´t matter to you."
"No, It´s ok. i will be glad if you accept my offer. If I wouldn´t be sure I wouldn´t offer it to you. So what´s your answer?"
"Ok, Cath, I take it. Thank you but you must said me then why I can´t be in Rampart? It´s deal."
"Yes."
Grissom heard to much. Suddenly he wanted be deaf in moments like these. He was so much angry that he slammed with door of his office. He did one thing which he never do. He displayed his emotions before other people.

I need hate you but I feel love

Chapter two



After while she came to her sense and she went to the reception instead of going to break room. She was deeply in thoughts who can be her visitor. She hoped that it wasn´t her so-called father, Sam Braun. The situation in the lab was already so much bad. So she doesn´t need anything what it´d make worse.
When she was near her destination she literally ran into Grissom.
"Hey, Cath, where are you going?" asked her.
"Reception," she answered without intention tell him anything more.
"Why?" Gil asked her." I am just going to give the assignments."
"I have visitor who waits for me. So I will be a few minutes later, Grissom," she snapped at him and walked away.
He was stunned her reaction so much that he will determined to discover who is the mysterious visitor. árcáárIt wasn´t Catherine he knows for long time.
So he decided that he will stay behind for a while.

Meanwhile, Cath reached reception and saw her visitor´s back. It was redhead man about 6''0 feet tall who was dressed in grey silk suit. He sure heard her steps cause when she came more closely to him he turned to her. She was suprised because it wasn´t nobody else than Horatio Caine, supervisior from Miami-Dade CSI lab. Man who she met several years ago when they worked on common case.
"Horatio, what a suprise! What are you doing here?" she squeaked with delight.
That was all what Grissom needed hear and he walked away with anger. He didn´t saw Cath how she hugged Horatio.
"So, Mr.Caine, what are you doing here? What happened that you came visit the sin city?" Cath asked man before her.
"I came visit one lovely CSI who as I know live in this lovely sin city" he answered and winked his eye. "And forget," he added weakly voice.
Catherine was suddenly alarmed at his emotion expression in his face. She saw man who was something haunted. He wasn´t man who she met in Miami. Something was absent. When she looked at him more closely she saw that his eyes are missing their spark. So she made quickly decision.
"So what do you think about stroll around "my" lab, Horatio? Are you up?"
"I´m up. Sounds good," answered after while.
"So, our first stop will be in the break room. Let´s go."
With this words Cath went off the same path as Grissom before but she had Horatio Caine beside her side.

Hi

Hi everyone,
I would like to know what do you think about this site and fanfictions which you can find here. Please, could you be so good and write me some comments?
I love feedback and it´s make my life better.
Thankx,

Proč?

Proč?

Disclaimer: CSI není moje, ale náleží Anthony E. Zuickerovi. Zápletka je naopak moje.
Varování: reakce na episody Formalities, Grave Danger, Way to go
Postavy: Grissom centric, něco málo Cath/Grissom
Obsah: Grissom přemýšlí o ženách a rozhodnutích v jeho životě.



Proč? Proč jen se jí tak moc bojím? Jsem taky tak moc vystrašen z představy osamělosti, hlavně potom co se stalo Nickovi. Přeji si, abych měl v životě někoho, kdo by se o mne staral. Potřebuji ženu, ano, takhle přesně mi to řekla Catherine před nějakým čase. Vím, že ano, ale nechci nikoho jiného než ji samou. Ona je pro mne tím co bych jen mohl ve svém životě milovat, ale… To jediné velké ale. Ale že nemám kuráž jí to říct. Nikdy proto nenajdu odvahu. Bojím se, že mne odmítne.

Proč by někdo takový jako ona toužila být s někým takovým jako já? Nakonec jsem se rozhodl. Musel jsem jít dá. Budu ji vedle sebe mít dále jako kamaráda, přestože už si nejsme tak blízcí, přesto vím, že tu pro mně bude. Udělal jsem rozhodnutí, jež se ukázalo být chybou. Myslel jsem, že naše šance již nikdy nepřijde, a proto jsem šel za Sárou.

Proč? Proč? Proč? Jsem snad jen hlupák nebo co? Když se kouknu zpět, vidím, že tu samou chybu jsem udělal již se Teri, Lady Heather a Sophií. Šel jsem do vztahu s nimi, protože narozdíl od ženy, kterou jsem miloval, miluji a vždy budu milovat, byly volné. Byly mou druhou volbou, šancí a pozvánkou ke štestí. Nikdy jsem si těchto šancí nevážil. Teď, za to platím. Podařilo se mi pokazit vše, co mnělo v mém životě nějaký smysl.

Neboť mé poslední rozhodnutí vše dokázalo zničit, ukázalo se být největší chybou mého života. Sára, jméno mého fatálního rozhodnutí, mě stála vše. Zbytek mého přátelství s Cath, přátelství s Nickem a Warrickem. Všichni lidé okolo mne mají pocit, že dělám chybu. Když v laboratoři zjistili, že Sára Sidle a já jsme spolu, strhla se bouře plná emocí. Někdo zvedla palec na znamení, Grissom jsi dobrej, ale zbytek se tváří znechuceně na celý náš vztah.

Nejhorší věcí byla hádka s Cath. Přišla za mnou do kanceláře a řekla jen dvě slova. Proč Gile?
Řekl jsem jí, že někoho vedle sebe potřebuji a že Sára je schopná mě milovat tak jak potřebuji a chci. Lhal jsem.
V její tváři se zrcadlilo tolik smutku. Její oči plné života pohasly potom, co si vyslechla ty krutá slova. Seděla na svém obvyklém místě u mého stolu. Několik minut byla zcela v šoku. Najednou se zvedla a odcházela z mé kanceláře bez jediného slovo. Už jsem si myslel, že jen ode mne odkráčí, když se náhle zastavila ve dveřích a pootočila se. Věta, jež řekla, bude mých myšlenkách po zbytek mého života.
“Proč jsem ti nemohla dát mou lásku, Gile? Proč sakra nejsem na jejím místě? Zatraceně, Gile, proč tě musím I přesto všechno milovat?”
Pak odešla z mé kanceláře, ale jak vím, tak i z budovy a nejspíše i z mého života.

Vím, přemýšlím, proč jsem byl tak vystrašený. Neboť jsem věděl z hloubi svého srdce, že mne miluje.

Proč? Proč jsem byl tak zatraceně hloupý?

I need hate you but I feel love

I need hate you but I feel love


Author: Michelcz
Disclaimer: CSI doesn´t belong to me but to Anthony Zuicker. Everything else is mine.
Rating: CSI-2
Characters: Grissom/Sara, Grissom/Catherine, Horatio Caine
Spoiler: CSI after Way to go, CSI:Miami after Rampage and One of our own
Summary: Sequel to Why. How will Catherine react to news about Gil? Will be there any chance for them? Will everything between them end or it will be start? Why is Horatio Caine in Las Vegas?



Prologue




Few hours after talk...

I saw him. I saw the picture of him after my speech in his office after I found that he is with Sara. The man I always loved and will love has relationship with woman I dislike from the first moment I saw her. No, I don´t hate her.I am sorry for her. She´s like a puppy who´s waiting for scratching from his mister. She´s stalking my Grissom. She changed him,
Before she came to the city he was gentle, patient man. He often closed off people from his life but he was himself, Gruessom Grissom. I know him longer than twenty years. Our connection was something so palpable we barely needed to speak to communicate.
One glance or one touch and I knew what he needed. I knew when was something bad in his life. I think that I know him but now I see that I didn´t.

I never think of time when I will see his dark side. The side of man I was so much adored. I remembered the first time when we met each other. He was so shy. He was rookie in LV labs and it was his first case. It was night which was tragical for me but also it brought me something good to my life. He was everything what kept me upon the water. He always was there for me and Lindsey.

I sit in dark of the living room in my house and went so many common memories. I am crying that I can´t have him. Damn, what I am thinking. I can have him cause I love him with pure love which is stronger each day. I´m not a loser.

I will be fight for my love. I will make him realize what a mistake he made.
I will be fight.
It will be catfight. I am stronger than Sara.

Chapter One

One month later...

It was month from encounter between Cath and Gil. They were polite to each other. They talk only when they have common case or paperworks. They haven´t anything common anymore except their work.
They were friends sometime ago. Now, they were strangers who knew each other but they lost their common road. They lost their so much valuable friendship. They lost it cause he made mistake. Griss fell into trap which was so well prepared by Sara Sidle. She saw them together day by day. Piece of her soul died daily.
She feel that something is missing inher life. There was a big empty hole. Someone who she knew and had guarantee beside her, was out of her life. Yeah, She had a mirracle of her life, Lindsey, but she was feeling lately that she wasn´t worth love.

Today she came to work a hour before start of shift. She had goofy smile on her face but she still felt died inside her. She thought that she hasn´t any right to happiness in the life. Everytime whe she was in live she picked out wrong man.
So she was walking now through the empty hall of lab to the locker room.
When she came there, Warrick was here alredy.
"Hey," said Warrick.
"Hey, youself," answer Cath," how are you? What are you doing in work so early? Shouldn´t you be with Tina for the anniversary dinner?"
"Yeah, I should be but she was called to hospital. They need all people who haven´t got flu."
"Rick, I am so sorry for you but I hope that you will be better soon," told Cath when she was giving her purse into locker.
They talked about Lindsey, work for a moment. They didn´t talk only about one thing, Griss and Sara. They both along with Nick were distance to them. War and Nick didn´t talk with Grissom as they were used. Suddenly they lost interest to be in closer contact with him. Warrick and Nick saw what it had done with cath. They were her supporters. When they were prepare go to break room Nick entered the room.
"Cath,are you here?" called Nick.
"Yeah, Nicky, what do you need?" asked him Catherine.
"I have a message for you from Judy. That you have visitor on reception," told her.
"What?" answered Cath. She was totally suprised. She was for a while speechless.

Why?

Why?

Spoiler: Formalities, Grave Danger,Way to go
Disclaimer: CSI isn´t mine but Andrew Zuckeir. Everything else is mine.
Characters: Grissom centric, small Cath/Grissom
Summary: Grissom think about women and decisions in his life.

Why? Why I am scared of her? I´m also scared of my loneliness, epecially after Nick was kidnapped. I wish someone in my life. I need a woman as Cathrine said me some time ago. Yeah, I need a woman but I won´t any woman than her. She´s everything what I would love to have in my life but.. There is one big but. I haven´t any courage to said her it. I never will have. I am scared of rejection.

Why will someone as her have a persone as me in her life? So I made a desicion. I went to over her. I could have her as my friend,not so close as before but as a friend always. Desione which was a mistake. I thought that there isn´t any chance with her. So I went to Sara.

Why? Why? Why? Am I so stupid or what? When I look abck in time I saw Terri, Sophia and Lady Heather as mistakes too. I went to theirs arms cause they were beside woman I always loved, love and will love. They were my second chance, my ticket to happiness. I never availed these chances. Now,I screwed up everything what has some sense in my damn life.

However, my last decision was the biggest mistake of my life. Sara, the name of my error, cost me all. Rest of my friendship with Cathrine, my friendship with Nick and Warrick. All people about me feel that I am doing error. When the lab found out that Sara and I are an item, it was storm full of emotions. Some people picked their thumb up but the rest of them gave me faces where I could and can read that it´s so distgusting.

The worst thing was my argument with Cath. She came to my office and said only two words. Why,GIl? I said her that I need someone in my life and Sara can me give love which I need and want. I lied to her.
She had saddness write in her face. She had her eyes withou life after my vicious words. She sat in her usually place in front my table. She was several minutes in shock. After this time she stand up and went from my office without word. I thought that she will just so walk away from me but suddenly she stopped in the door and little turned. The sentence she said will be sound in my mind to the end of my life.
"Why I couldn´t give you my love, Gil? Why I am not in her place, Gil? Damn, Gil, why I must live you?"
And then she walked from my office, from building and maybe from my life too.

I know think why I was so scared though I knew in the bottom of my heart that she loved me.


Why? Why I was so stupid?

Human touch

Human touch

Author: Michelcz
Disclaimer: CSI doesn‘t belong to me. It belongs to Anthony E. Zuicker.
Spoiler: Weeping Willows
Characters: Catherine/Grissom
Rating: CSI-2


She saw him through the window of her office. She is standing in front of his desk. She stayed there for a while after Ecklie´s departure. He came to tell her that anything what has something common with case and Adam Novak wasn‘t her mistake and that she have right for life after the work. That the all situation was only oneness happen-so. Everything was managed with professionally, which is her standard.
Even Jim came see her. It was same as with Ecklie. He also sees her as human. As person who has its faults and its perfection. He was so support to her. He didn‘t make any comment about the situation. He didn‘t judge her but they both knew that there is one person who will be her judge. It was so painful cause they both loved him as dearest friend. This was the worst thing of the situation.
So she observed him how he walked as little duck. She loves how he walks. She loves his beard. She loves his dry wit. She loves him all but she also knew that she wasn‘t worth him so she picked up men in the bar or else where. It was reason why they drifted so much apart during last year. It all started with revelation that Sam Braun is her 'father'. Catherine must make a decision. Decision, which will bring success or it, will end with absolute dead failure. She knows how she had been uncareful. She knew it so much well. It was the first and last step, which she must make. It was everything or nothing.


She went quickly from her office and called to him.
"Gil!"
"Gil, I‘d ask you out for a drink, but under the circumstances, it‘s..." Cath told him and saw that she isn‘t worth not one word from him.
"Okay, how long is this going to go on?" asked him
"I don‘t know, Catherine."
"Gil, it was an act of omission."
"How many times have we heard a public defender say that?" he asked her coldly.
"I went out after work. Is it a crime to want a little human contact?" Cath answered him.
They both came to reception when he stopped and gave Cath one of his best moralizing glares. He looked at her for few seconds and than he venomously said.
"I guess that‘s why I don‘t go out." With this statement, he walked away from her.

She saw how he went from her how she was like as some plague. She heard his words in her minds. She was paralyzed from his hate to her. She saw how much they would more and more apart from each other. It was the worst thing in her life. Man, who she always loved and will love, hated her. Man who will never know about her feelings to him.

She was also angry cause he could judge her but everyone around him hasn‘t this power. Why it was every time about her and her life? Why he could do it to her anytime? How is possible that she couldn‘t say him one word? How is it possible?





When he went away from her, he knew that he hurt her in the worst moment he could do it. He knew her very well and so also knew where her most vulnerable place is. So he targeted it. He was pretty sure of her actions in this moment. She was driving to home where she can go to her daughter and hug her. It was her island of peace. He knew that she would be full of anger and hate to him. But what he could do? He was also hurt. Yeah, he wasn‘t any right to do it. It was only reaction on powerless situation when he was witness how woman, he loves, made another mistake in her life. How she went out without him again? He was so fool. He had known that he wasn´t worth her. He wasn‘t worth happiness in his life. He was and will be alone.
He was so scared from hurtful situation that he lived in his safe shell. He lived with his bugs, which was his satisfaction.
He was man who liked challenges and Catherine Willows was one of these challenges. She was his back up when he must go to outside of his world. She was his strength. Yeah, she was and she isn‘t anymore.
He was hidden in the office and did work which he hate the most, paperwork. He needed sometime for himself. He needed clear head from minds, which was hunting him. From thoughts about Cath. He had been so selfish, almost selfish like as used to be Eddie.

When he sat behind his desk, he was so sure with Cath´s actions. He was so jerk that he couldn‘t be prepare for situation which happened in so short time. He was bending over files when he heard how someone was storming the way to his office. He thought that it would be Ecklie. He couldn‘t have worse intuition today. He couldn‘t be prepare for Cath´s arrival. He only heard how the door of the office slammed.
When he looks up, he was surprised with sight before him. He could see before him woman, especially one who he wanted stay against her just now. He saw furious face of Catherine Willows.
"Gilbert Grissom…“
"Gilbert Grissom, what do you think about yourself? How dare you judge me? Oh, I know it you are the man who doesn‘t make any errors. Who has his life
clear as lily and without sins for hell. Who lives in isolation outside the real world. The world where you can see peoples who have errors and problems. Who deal with their life for all time. Whom aren‘t scared of hurtful situation cause they know it‘s part of life which is important," Cath triggered her fit on Grissom´s head.
He was a lot of surprised cause he thought that he know her as nobody else and that she‘s so predictable for him. He couldn‘t know that she‘d waited for this moment for long time. She was desperate from the situation between them. She loved how they have used to communicate. It was so nature and now it was out of their lives.
"You guess that you have right to judge people around you, aren‘t you? You are the center of the universe and the world around is there only for you. You are so egocentric, Gil. Where did have this characteristic? How is it possible that I never didn‘t see it?"
"You are worse than Eddie was, yeah, it‘s true. Eddie was abusive to me, he spoke to me harsh but he was man he could find a little place in his sin´s soul where he could give people another chance, however, they made errors in their´s lives. Eddie was bastard but he had one good thing in his character. He was good father although he was miserable husband.“ Catherine said him with cold face.
The both of them was surprised by her statement and they found their self in stunned silence. Gil was prepared answered her when Catherine suddenly added something to her previous speech.
"You can´t say anything like this. You never were husband or parent, Gil. So where you found right to judge someone?"


Grissom was so surprised that he wasn´t able speak. He lost the words for a while. He could only look on Cath´s angry face which was so full of life in others whiles. He pushed aside the files on which he was working and was preparing to face Catherine.
"So, Miss Willows, you think that you are better than me and my life. Hell, you know very well that you life was a big crap for a long time and I was the one who was all time by your side. I was there when your best friend was murdered," he said and could saw how Catherine waas prepared something add. "You had your monolog, it´s time of speech of mine. I admit that I was there as CSI investigater in the first time but secondly I was by your side and was helping you with your fear. I didn´t know you in that moment but I knew you´re someone special who had hard life and you need love and support."
He saw her wild looks.
"Yes, Catherine, you heard me well. I, Gil Grissom, know what´s love. I am not without feelings and I am not cold. I can live in my special world but I saw world around me and people in it. I am making this confession in your presence. So I think that you will remember it.“
"No way. Great Gil Grissom admit that he has life. But what life is it? That you live in sterile condone with collections of bugs and butterflies on your walls?“ Cath went with arguments against him.
"You don´t know how you should show your love to some person. Maybe you only know how you live your sexual life but only in case when you would be dominant in this. It was reason why you were involved with Lady Heather during the investigation, wasn´t it? Oh, sorry, I totally forgot that it´s secret. One of your the most top secrets in your poor life, Gil.“ She was slowly raising her voice so she yelled more and more on him.
"You could do it but I haven´t right for life except work and raising my daughter. We had a relationship where we could said anything to each other and we never judge each other but you suddenly changed, Gil. You went to your hearing surgery and came back. Came back and closed me off your life. Even then I´d still stood by your side although it was hard and it hurt me so much. But I was there.“
"Catherine, don´t speak anymore if you aren´t prepared for consequences….“ Grissom tried tell her.
"Shut up, Gil, just shut up. You had your room for your "amazingly“ correct speech before. So I will speak now. You made same mistake as I, nor it was worse thing cause you had sexual relationship with suspect. I had only one glass in bar with man who has happened one of ours suspects. So don´t judge my actions when your were worse and you were still our little angel. An angel who will be forever admired by his student. No, it isn´t admiration, it´s crush on you, hun.“
She was so full of everything what was between them. She didn´t see Grissom how he slowly was standing up from his seat behind his desk. When she saw him before her it was late. He stand there and was so much angry that she could see it in every muscle of his body. He was in tense and he was looking to her as a god of revenge. When he spoke for first time and that he breaks her, he stayed only few feet from her.
"Catherine, as I said a few moments ago. If you aren´t prepared for consequences of this conversation, shut up and get out from my office. If you are you will be surprised what will happen. You have a while for your decision. I think about ten seconds. So I am starting countdown now. You can walk away from me and we will forget than this conversation was started, or you should stayed and see what will happen,“ said her firmly.
Catherine was stunned by his words. She thought that Gil Grissom is man who will never show his emotions this way. But she just now know she was wrong. She was determined stay and went against consequences whose will developed from this angry conversation. She knew that time of revelations their feelings and minds was there. In this moment and this place. It will be end of their almost twenty years old relationship or maybe it will be start of …“ she was afraid admit something more to herself. She was standing before him and heard how he was countdown the time.
"Ten, nine, eight, seven. You got still time to run, Catherine. Six, five, four. Catherine, run when you can. You can´t be prepared for actions which came after this. Three, two one.“
"Ok, Catherine, you need to remember that this was your and only your decision. You will need to keep it on your mind for the rest of life,“ during his speech he went straight to her from point of her view but she wasn´t prepare for the possibility that he will go to the door of his office and he will lock it. She turned around to face him when she heard the sound of the locking door.

She could see how he locked the door and closed the blinds of his office windows. She was angry a few moments ago but now she didn´t know what to think about this situation. Grissom was suddenly mystery for her. Enigma.
As sometime ago Grissom thought he knows her good, she was in his boots now. She was a little afraid cause suddenly she could see through his words which admitted that he has feelings. She watched his back which was turned to her and watched him how he stayed there for a while. When she waited at least he turned to face her. Look in his face was mysterious and she was more and more terrified what will happen in near future.
We had an arguments in ours past but this will be the worst in ours long relationship. This will end all or change all between us as friends, Catherine thought.

She couldn´t known how near she is to the true. She could only see with wide eyes Grissom who wasn´t suddenly tense but he was so content. It looked how he fit into his skin. How he found his stable line in the life. She watched him how he´s going back to her. He was going slowly foot by foot and inch by inch nearer to her. When he was quite near to her she could see his eyes. These were eyes which were full of anger, madness, sadness, loneness and to her surprise she could see also a hint of love. He was so strong and firm in his actions that she had feeling she should run away when she had time. She used to run in her past why she didn´t do it now. She was turned to him and watched him how he walks inch by inch to her. She was starting to walk aback. She wished she can walk through the walls when she was stopped by the end of his office.
Grissom saw her reaction and was very delight it. He wasn´t man who likes scared woman but he knew that it´s necessary in this case, with this specific woman. He could keep neutral face but under it we could see his smile under beard. This smile was larger and larger with each step which went nearer to Catherine. He could see her shocked face but silently he was preparing for more. He decided stop his moves when he looked up and saw Catherine near the back wall of the office. She looked as an animal in the corner which was prepared for its fight. He was beaming with pride cause he was reason of her fear.

"So, Miss Willows, why are you in so distance from me? You are scared of me, aren´t you?“ Gil asked silent voice.
"No, I am and I will not never be scared of you, Gil. I know you and I know what I can wait from you,“ she answered with the firmest voice as she can.
"Oh, Catherine, please, you can´t be so much sure with me. You can think you know me but I can say you. It isn´t true. You can´t know my greatest secret of life of mine.“
"Really, Gil? And what´s your greatest secret? How can you quickly find some new bugs or butterflies? Oh, it is, isn´t it?“
"No, don´t speak now. I figured it. It´s how you can live with crush of Sara Sidle and how you can use for you. Yeah, this is it. It´s only one thing which can be your secret, or it´s that Ms.Sidle is your new lover or it´s Ecklie´s dog Sofia Curtis?“ said coldly Cath.
"Catherine,“ said Gil with dangerous voice, "don´t speak too much or you will regret it soon.“
"He he he,“ nervously laughed Catherine, "you think that you can scare me, don´t you? No way, Gilbert Grissom. I must stand against worse men in my life and you aren´t man who is dangerous. You are scared yourself from life around you, so you can scare anyone.“
"Catherine, please, don´t be sure so much with your judge of me. You can know one side of me but you didn´t and don´t know my dark side yet.“ he told her when he came closer with each feet to her.
She could see that he was boiling with anger and he was pretty much decide that this confrontation of theirs will cut everything between them. That it will be the end or …. She knew that she was in worse position than he was. She was standing back to the wall and all exit ways was blocked. He has all access to the end of the situation. He was going so much closer to her. Second by second he was closer. He was suddenly one of the strongest men. He didn´t look as Gil she knows almost twenty years.
"Don´t try tell me that you are OK. I can see that you are worry from me. You forget Catherine that I know you. You could think that I didn´t watch world around me but you were wrong. I watched everything, especially if it had something common with you.“ Grissom barked at her.
"I know how you´re looking when something wrong happened in your life, or when you are hurt by someone. You have that look just now. You think that I would hurt you. That I will come to you and I will slapped you. No, I will not do that but you must be prepare for something worse. Worse? I used to think that it will be different from angle of your side of view.“
When he was standing only few inches by her. She came back to her sense and started yell at him.
"Hell, what do you think about yourself, Grissom? That you can tell me there this shit, can´t you? Bloody hell words whose mean nothing, you son of bitch.“
"You can´t go to the point of the thing. You need say too much words in your shit world. World where you are closed from the rest of people and you don´t know how exactly said what you want. You are only son of bitch. I said before that you´re worse than was Eddie. No, you aren´t. You two were the same. He used to hurt me by his hands and words however you can hurt me not only with words but also with your small actions to me. When do you think that I am wrong you are doing that the worst way. You ignored me. Eddie was bastard but he talked with me. You not. You deserved only one thing and you will receive it now, Gil Grissom. I could give it you sooner but I think that now it´s great time too.“ Catherine yelled with strong voice on him.
Gil was waiting what will happen in next few moments. He thought about everything what could happen. He wasn´t prepare for this. Catherine came a few inches near to him and slapped him. It was strong hit. His face was in pain and he could also see that Cath winced with pain too. Fortunately he was quickly so he could catch her second slap before it had happen. He caught her right hand and after while also her left hand. She was caught as prey in the trap.
He threw her against the wall and pined her hands up.
“Catherine, I think that I told you. Don´t speak too much or you will regret it soon. You could shut your lovely mouth, couldn´t you, darlin‘?“
“ It´s every time about your wrong choices and errors. These weren‘t fatal but I am afraid that you just made one or more than one. First, you could run when you had your choice. Second, you can´t shut up your mouth when you need it. And the last, you made a fool from herself with your feelings that you´d known me better than myself. Time of my payback is here.“
He could see how she was vulnerable in that moment. She was lost in herself. Her body was suddenly smaller than normal. He was Goliath against her form. He knew very well she is afraid of him but he started this game and he was going to play it to the end. T was necessary. It was time to relieve things which he threw from himself for long time. It was time for expression of his emotions.
Catherine was trying to speak at him but she was shut up Gil´s fingers on her mouths. She couldn´t believe his actions. He was suddenly so different in his behavior to her.
"Don´t speak, dammit, Cath. You said all what you could, however just now it´s my time. I am one who will speak and you will pretty good listen what I will say.“
"You always thought that you know me. You haven´t any doubts about it. you were so arrogant in it. Yeah, Catherine you are arrogant person. I guess that you have it after your father. I think the man who you hate so much. But not so much as I. I hate him for not only his actions and his criminal past but also for all he did you and Linds. I hate him from bottom of my heart cause I could so many times see you hurt. It was the horrible picture which you could see. I watched you hurt in psychical or psychical ways in times that I can´t count it in fingers of my both hands. I went with you last twenty years during so much troubles with men. Every time when I saw how another man hurt you I was more furious than before cause I couldn´t protect you.“
Catherine only can watched him with more and more wide eyes. She lost a lot of her tense. She tried so hard be more relaxed.
" Would you like to know why I was so furious? Would you like to know all reasons why I am reacting that way today? Do you want it, Catherine?“ asked Grissom with husky voice.
He barely allowed her nod by her head.
"I said early that this night will be about all my secrets. So the time of their relevation is coming. First, I can´t have Sara Sidle or Sofia Curtis as my lover cause they aren´t woman who I love. Yes, Catherine, you can think you can read me but that´s not true. Second, I have feelings and I am able to express love to somebody. I can see how you are going through all ideas who is the mystery woman . The woman who I love. You can be great CSI but you haven´t any idea cause you´r putting your ideas on wrong way. Be patient cause you will find it soon.“ he was telling her while he closed the distance between them and his body was pressed into Catherine´s.
She felt how all her body shivered with the delights feelings. She was so surprised by Grissom´s actions. She never thought what she could find in this man. She was feeling so right when he was locked her with his strong body by the wall. She could see that he felt it same way as she. She saw how he enjoyed the feeling of his dominance.
She watched him how he was preparing for the most important moment of his speech. He suddenly held her hands more tightly. She look up into his blue eyes and was lost in their shining.

"Third, you can´t figured out who is the woman cause you will think that she isn´t worth it. The mystery woman is you, Catherine. Yeah, you. I love you from the moment when I laid my eyes on you but I think that I didn´t realize it at that moment. When I was sure about my feelings you was married to Eddie. When this marriage end I was hoping that we will find common way. We´re on the right way but during the time we drew apart and lost to each other. I confessed my feeling for you now and I will add actions to it also“, he said.
With this words he kissed Catherine hard on hers mouth. She didn‘t expected the cause she was in shock after his confession.



"I love you, Catherine. Do you think that one day you could love me back?“ he asked her gently voice.
"No, Gil, I don´t think it,“ she started her answer to his question and watched his reaction to her word, "no, I couldn´t cause I love you already, Gil. I love you for long time and will love you forever. You had true in one thing that I would think that I am not worth your love. I thought it all time and it was also reason why I always ended with wrong guys.“
He listened her words and when she finished the words of hers he captured hungry her lips. After several minutes they breathlessly pulled apart and he said her. Big grin was appearing on his face.
"So, the hell must freeze over. Because I am in hell with you now, in very nice hell.“
"No, Gil, you… we´re in the heaven together. In the heaven of our love for each other,“ she told him with the widest smile of her on her face.
He was faded away his grip on hers hands and he was taking them down from the previous position. He had hold them in his hands. Suddenly he brought one of her hands to his lips and started to gently kiss her fingertips. She reveled in the feel of his mouth gently kissing then nibbling on her fingers. He teased her with his actions and was prepared on her attack after he will end this small show. He quickly finished it and had smile in his face cause the response of Cath. She groaned frustrated.
“Shh…. Love,” he whispered, ”it´s time to change place.”
“Why, Gil? I always dreamed about your office´c couch and us,” she suggested and she raised her eyebrows in the question.
“I was thinking about something more fancy but I like your idea,” he said her and slowly went away from her. She was confused where he was going.
“Believe me, Cath, just believe me. I will not hurt you,” he told Catherine cause he could feel her confusion.
He went to his desk where the lamp was shining around the room. He turned it off and went back to her.
“So I heard something about my couch. How was precise idea?” he asked her and he didn´t wait for answer. He swept her of her feet and carried her to the place of her dreams. Who went around Grissom´s office in the moment, can heard female's giggle.

Hi all,
I am starting to new thing. I´m starting to blogging. I would like be blogger who will present his work and his life.
Oh work, I´m thinking the work from the time when I relax after hard days and bad news.
I love writting so I will be present my fanfictions there. I love two things, CSI:Crime Scene Investigation and Harry Potter, not that character but Hermione Granger and Severus Snape pairing.

You can find here posts in czech and english language.

So hi all.